🐾 The Great Poodle Fashion Show (Against My Will)
Teaser:
Hoomans love dog clothes. Poodles? …we’re still deciding.
Let me set the record straight:
I am a natural beauty.
My curls don’t need accessories. My fluff is already runway-ready.
But try telling that to my mom.
Apparently, “every stylish poodle needs options,” which is how I ended up with a growing closet of outfits I did not ask for.
Exhibit A: The Turquoise Sweater Jacket
The first time she slipped this thing over my head, I froze.
Why are my legs in sleeves?
Why is my body suddenly the color of tropical water?
Mom said I looked “handsome.”
I looked “trapped.”
Did I tolerate it? Yes.
Did I give her the saddest, most betrayed poodle eyes I could muster? Also yes.
But I will admit… it was warm.
And I did get a cookie.
A very large cookie.
Exhibit B: The Orange Raincoat
This one… woof.
Bright.
Loud.
The color of a traffic cone wearing a hood.
She said, “Tucker, it’ll keep you dry!”
Hooman, have you SEEN my curls?
I do not “stay dry.”
I absorb moisture like a chia pet.
Still, she velcroed me in, took a picture, and I stood there like a soggy emergency worker in training.
Exhibit C: The Navy Winter Coat with Plush Lining
Okay… fine.
I actually liked this one.
It was warm.
It was soft.
And the plush lining made me feel like a very distinguished gentleman walking to his private jet (or at least to the mailbox).
Did I strut in it?
I plead the Fifth.
Did Mom take twelve photos of me posing dramatically by the door?
Absolutely.
The Photo Ritual
Here’s the part you need to understand:
Every time a new outfit arrives, there is a procedure.
- Mom squeals.
- The package rustles.
- I back up slowly because I know what’s coming.
- She says, “Try it on, Tucker!”
- I exchange one last look of freedom with the living room.
- Then…
- Click. Click. Click.
I am basically a reluctant fashion model.
A fluffy hostage to seasonal dog couture.
Do I love clothes?
Not exactly.
Do I tolerate them?
Yes. For cookies.
For praise.
And because it makes my mom laugh every single time.
And honestly…
maybe I do look adorable.
A little.
Maybe.
🐾 Nose boops and tail wags,
Tucker